i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
