it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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