Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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