maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
