She is in my trunk
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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