names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
