I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
