The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
