is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
