Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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