She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
