Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
