Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
