Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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