I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
