let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
