a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
