I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
