I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
