If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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