are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
