Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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