Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
