I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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