yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
high people should be assigned attendants
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
