who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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