i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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