So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
