I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
