sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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