Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
