I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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