Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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