Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I understand Curling. That high.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
