i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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