I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
