omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
