Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
