your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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