I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
