I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
