why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
