do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
