I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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