It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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