Umm I'm too high to move.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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