you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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