Having a random hookup so left but love u
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
