..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
