I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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