my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
