All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
