What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
