so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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