she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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