i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
