My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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