He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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