yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
