You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
