So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
