My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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