So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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