idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
