evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
