Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
