I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
