Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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